Today has been quite interesting and certainly didn't go how how I planned but I don't think it could have been any better. Confused? So was I at first (and I'm still digesting it all). How does this relate to my wanting to make a video game do you ask? I suppose its time to explain that.
I doubted myself today in my ability to accomplish my goal of making a video game. I'm certainly not proud of that but it led me down a rather interesting research path. I've been trying over the course of the last few days to really find some good beginner documentation for learning how to use Unity 3D. What I have found for the most part has been either beyond the grasp of someone lacking any programming knowledge or was for an older version of Unity 3D on the Mac platform. Every time I would start watching the videos I would just get more and more confused and frustrated. It got to the point today that I felt I needed to put my mind on something else a little simpler so decided to do something else I like to do which is virtually build things. I will usually start with a spreadsheet and layout what items I need for a given project which in this case was building a boat. I've never built a boat in my life but I like to learn how things work so I've gotten to the point that I can damn near tell you exactly what you need to build a boat from the tools needed, to materials and everything in between. I've done this with engines as well. The odd part is that after a couple of hours I was finished (I decided to see how much it would cost to build a Jon boat hull...its about $800 if you can find cheap plywood) and bored. I even took the time to watch a few videos on how rebuild an outboard and I feel like if you gave me a few hand tools I could probably get it done in a few days even though I've never done it before. I'm not trying to blow my own horn or anything...it just makes sense to me. If its too simple I will feign interest and move on to something more interesting.
That's when I found this web page:
I really like the idea of open learning. I feel that knowledge shouldn't come with a monetary cost. Your willingness to learn and your drive to accomplish that should be the cost in my opinion. Those with $$$ should not have sole authority on the obtaining/dispensing of knowledge. EVERYONE should be given the opportunity to learn and that's why I'm really drawn to these guys. They've put a lot of effort into their tutorial videos of which there are 149 on a video hosting website called Vimeo. You can find their videos here:
At first I didn't like that their videos are so short but now I get it. Making video games is highly technical and very time consuming. They just don't want you to get grandiose dreams and unrealistic expectations only to be disappointed and/or jaded. Know that you will get there but give yourself enough time and patience to not only accomplish it but enjoy the process as well. Why would you want to do something as a hobby if it just makes you mad?! That's just idiotic.
So now you're going to find out why my day didn't go exactly as planned. I came up to my computer this evening with the intention of watching more of their videos. Instead I thought that I should really read through the preface to the web training on their website. One part that seemed out of place was taking a Myers Briggs personality test. I've taken one before but the last 3 years have really started to let me be my true self. I decided that I should take the test again as while they are not perfect they can really help you understand yourself a lot better. And not just your strengths...your weaknesses as well.
After taking the time and taking the test based on how I feel and not how I think I should feel I came out as a "Mastermind (I hate titles..) INTJ (Introverted (89%) Intuitive (38%) Thinking Judging)" of which we only make up 1-2% of the population. I often wondered why I feel so lonely as times. :( But the other side of that personality is the ability to observe the world around you and make sense of it. I can take big ideas and break them down. Then I can see how all of the little pieces work together as a whole. There are different types of career paths for an INTJ and I certainly picked an appropriate one in the computer field. Below are some links to descriptions of this personality type:
But the most interesting parts I found explain some of the parts of my personality that I never understood or at least didn't really notice. Below are some of the personality traits I relate to most:
1.) I can't stand inefficiency. I have absolutely no patience for it. If it doesn't work why don't you just fix it?! To keep doing something that doesn't work is just idiotic.
2.) I'm very skeptical. If you can't prove something to me with solid evidence no matter how much you believe in it I won't give it merit. I will respect your opinion but I certainly won't agree with it and if you try to cram it down my throat the results will not be pretty....
3.) Authority is quite relative to me. I'm not impressed with titles. If you're right you're right. If you're wrong you're wrong whether you're the mail guy or the CEO. And if you don't pull your weight in a position of authority I will have little to no respect for you.
4.) Political correctness is stupid. Just say things like they are please...I don't want to have to interpret things or constantly have to filter my words.
5.) In times of stress I tend to be more self destructive. I'm certainly not proud of that but I'm getting a lot better at this one.
But what started this whole post is..
6.) If things are too easy or mundane I will get bored and feign interest.
This has played out several times in my life in my job choices. The simpler the job the worse I did at it and the less I cared about my job performance. It may sound calloused or unprofessional but I just don't want to waste my time on a simple job or a job where I can't effect any change. I just can't stand the idea of compromising on something when I KNOW I can do better. It's like an itch that you just have to scratch. I love working with intricate complicated things. I like to reverse engineer things to figure out how they work or even use them in situations they were never meant for. In short I NEED difficult to understand hobbies/jobs to hold my interest and keep me learning. I will always be motivated to learn more and more.
So in the end while I doubted myself earlier today I understand now that I need a challenge like this. And now I'm REALLY hungry for more. But like any human being I need to sleep too. :p Good night.